A common mistake in relationships is when a partner tells you, “It’s going to be okay.” Here’s the truth: when something doesn’t feel okay, that feeling is there for a reason. The real question isn’t whether it will be okay. It’s whether anyone can actually be okay with you being not okay.
On the surface, it sounds comforting. But here’s the truth: when something doesn’t feel okay, that feeling is there for a reason. It’s your body, your mind, your heart sending you a signal. And the real question isn’t whether it will be okay, it’s whether anyone can actually sit with you while it isn’t.
Because here’s what usually happens: you feel sad, frustrated, anxious, or even angry. Maybe your partner notices and says, “Don’t worry, it’ll be fine.” Or maybe you catch yourself thinking it, trying to reassure yourself. And in that moment, your emotions get pushed down. You tell yourself you should feel differently.
The result? Those feelings don’t disappear. They grow. They pound louder inside you. That sadness or anger that was manageable yesterday becomes heavier today. Pretending everything is fine becomes exhausting, and slowly, you start pretending to yourself too.
Imagine this: you’ve had a horrible day at work. You’re stressed, disappointed, maybe even embarrassed. You come home hoping to share that with your partner, and instead of a comforting presence, you hear: “It’s going to be okay.” Sure, it’s meant kindly, but it doesn’t honour what you’re actually feeling. The stress and disappointment don’t vanish with those words. They linger, unacknowledged, until you finally explode in frustration over something small, or you bottle it all up and carry it silently.
Or picture this: you’re grieving a loss and someone says, “You’ll get over it.” That phrase, though meant to help, tells you your grief is wrong. Your sadness isn’t welcome. And now, instead of processing it at your own pace, you’re trapped in a cycle of guilt, trying to “move on” before you’re ready.
Now imagine a different scenario. You’ve had the same terrible day at work. You come home and instead of “it’s going to be okay,” your partner sits with you. They ask, “Do you want to talk about it? Or just be here?” They don’t try to fix it. They don’t rush you. And slowly, by being present, your mind starts to untangle. You can actually breathe through your stress. You can feel your emotions instead of being swallowed by them.
That’s the difference. That’s what it looks like when you’re allowed to be not okay. When anger, sadness, fear, and yes—even joy—are given space to exist without judgement.
And this isn’t just about relationships with other people, it’s about your relationship with yourself. How often do you tell yourself to “just get over it” when you’re tired, stressed, or sad? How often do you bury feelings because you don’t have time, because life won’t wait, or because you think you shouldn’t feel them? Ignoring your emotions doesn’t make them shrink. It makes them bigger, louder, heavier.
So what to do?
The real power comes when you stop trying to force your feelings into neat little boxes. When you allow yourself to feel fully. When you listen to yourself before anyone else tells you what’s okay. Imagine the relief of making decisions that actually feel right for you, instead of reacting out of old patterns or expectations. Imagine what it would feel like to finally stop fighting yourself.
This is the path to emotional freedom: to acknowledge the discomfort, to explore it, and to give yourself permission to feel it fully. It’s messy. It’s human. And it’s absolutely necessary if you want to feel lighter, clearer, and more open to life as it is.
Because here’s the truth you’ve always needed to hear: you are already okay, even when it doesn’t feel that way. You don’t need fixing. You don’t need to rush. What you need is to listen. To listen yourself, to your emotions, and to what your heart is really saying.